Who are you?" said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present -- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then." "What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar sternly. "Explain yourself!" "I can't explain myself, I am afraid, sir," said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see." "I don't see," said the Caterpillar. I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice replied very politely, "for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being many different sizes in a day is very confusing." ~ Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, p. 23 I think I can safely say that we don't always need a strange Caterpillar, smoking a hookah, to remind us of our own inner struggle. "Who are you?" is a question I believe we all have asked ourselves more than once. We all have a past and a present. We all have a future. We have picked different paths over the years and we have followed them to find ourselves standing where we are today. I don't know about you, but it is very easy for me to think that who I am today is who I will be tomorrow. Yet, there have been reoccurring moments where I've had to answer the Caterpillar inside of me, only to respond with Alice's same statement: "I hardly know, sir." One of the easiest ways to see who you really are is to recognize what sort of dreams your heart creates. It reveals our selfishness, our kindness, our perspective, our desperation, our faith, our cares, our individuality, our growth. Since the beginning of 2015, I have been asking myself and God how I should dream. In other words, I've been asking how I should be as a person. Wow, what a life altering question.... It's led me on a journey that has taken me over some of the most painful decisions but the most exciting and life-giving future. Over two years ago, I meant to finish my blog series on past, present, and future but I never reached the topic of future..... Well, that figures! These three brackets of time that build our lives have been on my mind for a long time, future being the hardest one. Although I am no where near having all my questions answered, God has been slowly (oh, it's been slow all right!) teaching me some principles that I need to keep in focus as I look towards the future. I hope sharing these principles with you doesn't come across as me necessarily giving advise, because these are things I need to write down to keep me learning, reminded, and accountable. These intentional mentalities He has shown me are not something I've learned over night. I meant to write this post over two years ago! And, yet, God knew there was more I needed to write, not just to you but mostly myself. The image of wandering through a mad Wonderland couldn't be more accurate than it is now! I am going to introduce you to a woman named Robyn Davidson. You very possibly may have never heard of her. In 1977, she made a historic trek across Australia's Western desert to the Indian Ocean with four camels (Dookie, Bub, Zeleika, and Goliath) and a dog (Diggity). It was a 1700 mile trip succeeded in six months. Her trip was sponsored by National Geographic and photographed by Rick Smolan, causing her to become well-known as the "camel lady" in the '70s. Not only was her trip historic for allowing the first person to successfully cross the Western desert with camels, but she brought much awareness to the mistreatment of Aboriginals. I first heard about Davidson around a year and a half ago when I watched the movie based on her trip, Tracks (2013). I was immediately captivated. I mean who wouldn't love a woman who beat the odds by riding camels, who became an icon during the hippie era for NatGeo, and used her influence to bring awareness to the beautiful Australian Aboriginals?! A few months later, I saw the book From Alice to Ocean (a compilation of Davidson's autobiography and Smolan's photographs; it's also the book I am sharing with you in the photos) available for silent auction at a library. I put my price and number down, and waited earnestly for the call. Something deep down inside of me knew there was something about her story that God was trying to teach me about my own. Welp, I won that book and it was one of the most influential reads (and intake of fantastic pictures!) of my life. It still is. What was so shocking about her when I read the book was that she had no real purpose for taking this trip! She had no idea why she wanted to do it, besides the need for peace and self-discovery. She needed to get away to do that, and she knew it well. The only reason why she allowed National Geographic to get involved was because she needed the money for resources. The first half of her trip was strictly held to a schedule, based all upon a clock. She'd wake up at a certain time, feed the camels and dog at a certain time, pack up at a certain time, hit the road at a certain time, etc and etc. She was falling upon a mentality she had learned in a fast-paced world. And she had good reason to be on a schedule -- she wanted to finish the trip before the hottest months of summer. It's no joke to be in Australia during this scalding hot season! However, various issues caused her to fall behind on schedule over and over again. Also, she was hardly finding any peace and self-discovery; she was just becoming more doubtful of the trip. These fall-backs did not leave her with much time to go around the sacred grounds of the Aboriginals. The problem was that women were not allowed to go without an Aboriginal guide. Thankfully, one agreed to go with her, whom she called Mr. Eddie. This portion of the trip was her absolute favorite, and also where she learned the most about herself. You see, Mr. Eddie led her through the sacred grounds on a way different schedule than a clock -- he was in tune with nature, sensitive to the weather, surroundings, and the sun's rotation. He was also in tune to the needs of rest from both humans and animals, while taking advantage of the energy spikes in everyone to go longer distances. What Davidson learned from all of this is simply but brilliantly summed up in these two sentences: "In different places, survival requires different things, based on the environment. Capacity for survival may be the ability to be changed by environment." What she means by this statement, if put in context, is that we are going to face environments in our lives that are going to stretch, pull, lengthen, test, and grow us. They may even make us feel on the brink of survival. Yet, to do this successfully, they require a specific pace in the time given to us, so that we may absorb the development intended for our victorious survival. Here’s where I put in my two cents: God has given us promises if we are willing to take hold of them and each promise leads us on a journey to our future, our destiny. And on this journey we will experience mass amounts of environments (physically, spiritually, and emotionally) that all individually require a particular response to time. Some environments will ask us to keep up with a fast ticking clock. Others will ask us to slow down and watch the sun’s rotations. There will be others varying in-between these two extremes. The promises God gives for our lives don’t demand us to know who we will be in our future, but they do supernaturally require that we surrender to the changes they will do to our person. I've applied what she has learned in my own life (not perfectly, and I need to constantly remind myself... which is why I am writing this post). I've implemented it to the promises God has given me and the environments these promises have led me through. It has been extremely hard at times but, today, I am SO grateful that I was diligent. And this is where I share with you one of those promises. In 2015 I decided I no longer wanted my own dreams, I wanted God's. I was sick of what my dreams were showing about myself; I wanted a new heart, His purpose, the destiny I was created for. So, God responded with a promise that also became a calling. You see, Robyn Davidson's journey started from a town called Alice Springs, which I find very interesting since my blog includes the name Alice. And not only that, my own destiny was leading me to the Ocean. Well, more like across the ocean. God's promise was calling me to someday leave my home, my family, and my country to intern with a non-profit ministry called The House of Grace in New Zealand, on the north island! This ministry helps pregnant teenage girls with housing, education, spiritual growth, emotional support, necessities throughout their pregnancy and birthing process, and a family dynamic that they can keep in contact with forever. They have two homes and have helped over 100 girls. I was interviewed via Skype in summer 2015 and accepted into their internship program! I committed myself for six months with their ministry, but with the hopes that I would be able to complete their year long internship. However, I had to finish college and raise up funds first. Around that time, I thought I would have everything set to go and be on a plane crossing the ocean in March 2017.... That was two months ago. I was to learn it wouldn't be that easy. The beginning of 2016 was when I began to wake up to the reality of constant barriers. I at first became extremely discouraged, but then decided to focus on what environments the promise was taking me through. What were these environments requiring of me? What was the pace they were asking? I wanted to rush, rush, rush through life to get to New Zealand; I had a clocked schedule, an appointment on the calendar. Yet, college was the only thing the promise was requiring me to hustle through. Everything else needed a way slower pace. God even had me stop working so I could focus on finishing college, continue for a time with Bible school at my church, and doing ministry. On top of it all, He wanted to deal with some painful things, especially my panic attacks that I thought were no longer an issue. The painfully slow paces in my variety of environments allowed God to work. I became free from the panic attacks, I resolved some things from the past, I learned a ton about people and ministry, and I graduated college in January. And right when I thought I could jump right into a job and finally pay off debt while saving for NZ, God stopped me and said, "The promise still has more to require of you before you reach it." I've been going through some even slower paces and even deeper junk to work through since January. Holy crapppppp 2017, give me a break! What the heck does all this mean? It means, like Robyn, I am learning more about myself and more about my purpose. I haven't quite finished the journey that started with Alice Springs (Mornings with Alice) and I haven't quite reached the Indian Ocean (New Zealand), but I am listening to the environments that God's promise has led me and obeying the slow paces; it is all leading me to my destined future. I'll get to New Zealand in the perfect timing, and I am now finally making some serious plans to move forward. I just have to be like Mr. Eddie: be in tune with nature, sensitive to the weather, surroundings, and the sun's rotation... Well, something like that. There's a promise that I have to keep listening to, a promise never changing that is the foundation for my dreams. Eventually, Robyn Davidson did reach the Indian Ocean successfully. All her camels survived (however, her loyal dog died from finding a littered bottle of poison…. it was the worst part of her trip), and she made the cover of National Geographic magazines all over the world. She not only found peace and self-discovery, but she also found purpose in her trip: to share what she has learned to bring awareness to the mistreatment of Australian Aboriginals. There is so much more I could share about her trip and her life, but this blog post is already getting super long. I greatly recommend watching the movie, reading the books, and looking at all the wonderful pictures (many you can find online). This was kinda scary for me to share with the world, but God said it was time. He even confirmed it yesterday when I was at a consignment store -- I saw this beautifully painted map of New Zealand (pictured below). Let me end with this: Our future is very uncertain to us, but it is very certain to Him. Time doesn't define you, God's promises define you.
6 Comments
|
AuthorHello, I am Christiana! Archives
May 2017
|